Insomnia

What keeps you awake at night? Most often when I can't sleep, it's because I am unhappy with myself. It's lying there wishing I'd said or done something other than what I did in a particular situation. And replaying the danged scenario over and over in a million different ways, imagining a better outcome. All for naught, of course, except to keep me awake all night. I'm thankful that these sleepless nights are far less frequent than they used to be. Maybe I'm learning to count blessings instead.


INSOMNIA
by Janet Muirhead Hill

Sometimes when we cannot sleep

We lie there counting silly sheep

But usually we’re counting should’ves,

What-if-I-hads, and wish-I-would’ves.

Words we’ve spoken and those not said

Ruefully, we replay in our head.

Hindsight gives us such clear vision

That in our thoughts, we seek revision.

Yet life has no button to re-record

And deeds once done have their reward.

For better or worse when a thing is done

It can’t be rewritten for anyone.

The best we can do as we count regrets

Is to learn a lesson and pay our debts.

Another poem slipped out of my mind onto paper. It's about writer's block. Nothing fancy or profound. Just fun rhyming.

Writer's blocks do happen,
at least they do to me.
Yet when they do, I don't know why,
It is a mystery.

I wonder why I cannot make
myself sit down and write.
What is the thing that stops my mind
and holds the block so tight?

And then a day will come along,
just as mysteriously
when I can sit and write and write,
words flowing fast through me.

I don't know what the reasons are.
There is no common thread
I only know I love the days
when stories fill my head

and I am teleported
to a land of make believe
as I pen upon the page
the words that I receive.

Secrets

An anonymous poem.

SECRETS

Come, my friend, if you please,
We will walk and shoot the breeze,
And when the breeze is shot to hell
We will all our secrets tell

Oh, I have secrets, yes I do,
And no one I can tell them to.
Yet sometimes as I walk in rain
I'd kind of like to share the pain

Of the secret kept so long
But I know I must be strong.
And yet a while bear this weight
And solely stand up to my fate.

And so I will not share my plight
Until I've found a way to fight
And change the course I seem to be
Traveling to the death of me.

By keeping the secret in my head
Until the day that I am dead
I'll keep from spoiling anyone's bliss.
Better to live in happiness.

So come my friend and we will talk
as merrily we take our walk.
Cheerily we'll shoot the breeze
And avoid all talk of my disease.

Poems, short stories, essays, book reviews

Besides our one novel, by Raymond Storm, we are now open to publish poetry and other short creative pieces right here on our blog. If you wish to have your work published, please email it janet@ravenpublishing.net, and I will post it here as long as it meets our standards. I won't publish pornography or anything that exploits children.

For starters, here is a poem written about the grief of losing a loved one.

Grief
by Janet Muirhead Hill


With stealth, grief prowls
in the shadows of my mind
like a hunter
    lurking
        stalking
            waiting

For just the right moment
to release its arrow
from a tightly strung bow
to pierce my consciousness
mid stride
    I falter
        waiver
            bite my lip and turn away

to hide my tears
and falling face
until I can smile again,
shoving back memory's dart
and spurning it's bold sting
    and proclaim
       
            I am fine

Except in the shadows of my mind.

A note from author, Raymond Storm

Dear Readers,

I am super thankful for your interest in this site and my book, Caught at the Edge. I am an ex-gang member who has lived the street life. I have stood face to face with killers, I have been shot, stabbed, and left for dead. I gave orders to more men than most corporate CEOs, and I have watched many of my friends die. I lived in the streets and would have died for the streets. Now, as a man of faith, I know it was God who saved me from the streets.

Why write this book? To bring to light what the Cartel has been doing to kids since the early 80's—making them into soldiers. The best soldier is the one that has nothing to lose.
I know what it means to be that kid. I have seen every loss you can imagine, every pain you can inflict, and most types of abuse as a child. I learned to hate when I was very young. I thrived on it. To be honest, it is what drove me—that bitter taste of hate.

Some will say about Caught at the Edge, "Oh this is just some kind of religious book." Please let me assure you that it is much more than that. Before being published, I allowed men of known gangs read it: Crips, Bloods, Latin Kings, Vice Lords, leaders of prison gangs, and the likes. I have watched some pretty hard men hand me back the book with tears in their eyes. To know that someone else knew their struggles and made it through, touched them.

May I be so bold as to place a challenge before you? Allow me to take you on a journey like no other. Let me show you what hides in the dark recess of the streets. Like a football coach, I will run you through the gambit, but instead of plays, it will be emotions. I give you my word that this book will affect you. If it doesn't, I will send you a handwritten apology. Now if this book moves you, then please tell your family and friends about it.

Thank you for your time.
Be Blessed,

"Storm"

You can find Storm's book here

Caught at the Edge, a "must read" for those who know teens in trouble and want to help.

 

 Read this book and feel empathy for the plight of kids who have nothing and are only looking for a way to survive. Read this book and feel indignant at the audacity of the grownups who use down-and-out kids for their own protection and gain.  Read this book and see the need to rescue the kids before it's too late and to show them a better way than  the cartels offer them in exchange for drugs, sex, and guns. Read this book and feel the hope as you see the redemption that is possible.

Two Pronged Novel—Two Stories, Loss and Redemption

Raymond Storm, author

The author of the true-to-life novel, Caught at the Edge, tells two stories in alternating scenes. He tells of the loneliness, fear, and danger experienced by children and teens living in abusive homes and on the streets, and the exploitation of these vulnerable and "disposable" children by the drug cartels. The other story is of caring adults who reach out to rescue and redeem these forgotten kids. Through the portrayal of the hard life of Xaviar, an abused child as he becomes a belligerent and dangerous teen, the author, shows how a young man, when he reaches rock bottom, can be saved by someone who cares enough to reach out. In this story, it is a devout Christian man who intervenes and offers Xaviar a chance at a better life. Xaviar embraces the new-found hope and forgiveness and dedicates his life to showing kids like himself the love and direction they need. 

There are two messages in this book. One is that kids without love and security can easily fall into a life of crime, become involved in gang wars, and be manipulated as hired guns and drug runners for the cartels. The other is that compassion and understanding can give these lost boys a chance for a better, safer, more productive lifestyle. There are Christian, Buddhist, and nonreligious organizations that provide homes and shelters and outreach programs. More are needed. It is hoped that young people who suffer abuse and abandonment will read this book, realize they are not alone, and find help. It is hoped that this book, though fiction, will raise awareness and empathy for these forgotten and misunderstood teens and preteens and prompt caring people to offer help.